i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Less talking, more tequila
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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