take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
