I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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