I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
