im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
