Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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