worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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