i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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