so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
