im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Enjoy the penises
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
