Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
