Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
