Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
