I think I am morally bankrupt
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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