I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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