I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
