OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
