she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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