Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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