so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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