Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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