so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
