5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize