I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
