some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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