Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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