4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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