I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
