I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Vodka?
Forever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
