Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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