I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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