i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
