The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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