My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
