i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
