When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
