btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
