Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
