apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was like eating out sand paper
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
