There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
