it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
