You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
