He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
