the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
