she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
