You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
