like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize