she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
