when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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