Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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