I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is wine microwaveable?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
