Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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