Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
