Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
