oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize