What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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