she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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