she was so not down for the gang bang
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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