If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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