Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize