Sry I called you an 8
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize