hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize