i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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