no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
