You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
