i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
