on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
