Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
