u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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