Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
