A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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