Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
