She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
