well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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