wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
