peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
