please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
we should paint friendship bongs
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